Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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