I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize