Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i think my cat just said my name.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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