i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
