If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize