you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Even my vagina gasped.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
