Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
