she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
