We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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