yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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