didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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