I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
