Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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