And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
