the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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