I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
