question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
