I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I said "one day" and that day is not today
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
