Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize