exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
