she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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