I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Someone signed my nipple.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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