p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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