she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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