Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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