Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
