theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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