you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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