Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
