I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
