It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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