I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
