Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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