Say something about gay babies.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
