Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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