How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
