And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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