Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
