suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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