just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
