I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pants are for mortals
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
