"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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