i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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