Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
