Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You ruined the universe
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
