i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
