Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
