Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize