Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel like abortions should bother me more
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
