Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
