Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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