guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
