I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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