i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
