Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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