Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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