why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
