We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
