i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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