All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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