You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
