Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
