spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
