sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
