Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize