But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
