If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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