I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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