I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
