I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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