That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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