forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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