Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize