i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Houston, we have a blender
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
