i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
